The Hard-of-Hearing Haunters of Hill City

Back in the gold rush days of the 1890s, Hill City, South Dakota, was a bustling little town full of miners and misfits. Among them were Earl and Edweina, who now today, are the town’s two most dedicated ghosts. The pair has lingered long past their expiration dates, probably because neither had heard the call to move on.

Edweina had a reputation. Not for being spooky or sinister, nothing like that. She just had a temper. And it all came out one night when someone called her a spectral ghost.

“Special ghost? SPECIAL GHOST?! I AIN’T SPECIAL, I’M JUST HARD OF HEARING!” she bellowed, rattling the windows of the old saloon. “I’m just as normal a ghost as any other miserable ghost!“

Earl, on the other hand, vibrated with boundless ghost energy. He was the busiest spirit you ever saw, zipping through town like an old miner who’d just struck gold but lost his pants. He spent his afterlife bustling about, knocking over lanterns, rearranging poker hands, and ensuring that any rocking chair in his reach mysteriously rocked.

Earl was an eternally happy ghost, but the other thing about Earl was that he thought he was always right. And because he never heard anyone tell him otherwise, well, that was all the proof he needed.

“You see that tourist’s hat fly off his head?” Earl would declare after a gust of wind. “It was me! I told ya Hill City’s got itself a haunted draft! Been sayin’ it for years!“

“That was the wind, Earl,” Edweina would grumble.

“Well, that’s what I said, ain’t it?“

They were a perfect match, not because they got along, but because they never quite heard each other’s complaints. If Edweina grumbled about Earl’s constant energy, he’d nod along, assuming she was complimenting and agreeing with him. If Earl went on one of his long-winded rants about ghostly fun, Edweina would just shake her head and mumble, “Sure, Earl. Sure,” while rolling her spectral eyes.

But the townsfolk didn’t mind, and in fact, they found the two ghosts more fun to follow than any social media account. Some swore Earl had a habit of fixing things in the middle of the night, like lining up all the spittoons at the saloon just so. Others said Edweina, in her frustration, would stomp through buildings, knocking pictures off the walls whenever someone so much as whispered the word “special.”

One evening, a group of folks sat around the Hill City saloon, sharing ghost stories. One fellow, anxious to show he was a dumb tourist, loudly asked, “I heard you’ve got a special ghost in town!”

From the rafters came a shriek! “I AM NOT SPECIAL! I’M JUST HARD OF HEARING!“
Bottles flew off the bar, the chandelier spun like a tornado, and somewhere, Earl’s voice rang out: “Now, Edweina, don’t get all riled up, I was just about to say the exact same thing!“

And that’s how Hill City earned its reputation, not as the most haunted town in the Black Hills, but as the most Hard-of-Hearing Haunted Town in the Black Hills. And if you listen real close, assuming you’re not also deaf, you can hear Edweina’s ghostly grumble, ‘I’m not Special, I’m just hard of hearing!‘ and Earl’s ever-confident, ‘That was me!‘ declarations.

by Randy Peterson